How To Slide Into A Girls DM’s On Instagram: 10 Effective Ways

You just found a great person on Instagram. You think she’s beautiful and smart and her profile and everything she does seems extremely interesting to you. However, you have no idea how to start talking to her and start a relaxed conversation to get to know each other better and let her know that your interest in her is real.

If you find yourself in the following situation, relax, because every day millions of men go through the same thing and die of embarrassment because they have no idea how to solve the problem; how to DM a girl on Instagram? Below we will give you all the keys to discover how to do it and succeed with girls!

Everything You Need To Know To Contact The Girl You Like On Social Networks And Be Successful

Personal relationships have not stopped evolving over the years, being currently a real enigma for the youngest to know which is the best way to contact the girl they like through social networks.

And although many believe that the use of applications like Instagram has facilitated the way in which we meet people, the reality is that the most important part is still just as complex; how to send a DM to a girl on Instagram? How to introduce ourselves and start a smooth conversation where we don’t end up saying something out of place that makes the girl never want to hear from us again?

Relating is still as difficult despite social networks, maybe even more so since not having the person in front of us and not being able to receive other types of signals, such as a facial expression or body posture, chat relationships are reduced to words, and most of the time those words are not the right ones and do not say anything worth remembering.

So, here’s how to DM a girl on Instagram and not fail in the attempt? Take note!

How To Message A Girl On Instagram (10 Tips & Ways)

Want to know everything about how to send a DM to a girl on Instagram? Below we will give you a detailed list of 10 essential tips and tricks that will make no girl resist you on Instagram and turn you into a real social-media seducer.

A man holding a smartphone with social media apps.

Because we have all ever felt the nerves of not knowing what to say to a girl we like and we know the horrifying feeling of knowing that we have expressed ourselves badly or that we have done something inappropriate to conquer her.

With our tips, you will never again have to suffer for not knowing what to say to the girl you like so much. We have the keys to putting an end to all your doubts and becoming casanovas of the XXI century.

Let’s get started!

1.     First and foremost, be honest

You should apply this tip as long as you have a previous relationship with that girl, that is, you have already met before in other circumstances (you went to the same class together in college, you have friendships in common, etc.) because if you try to engage in a deeper conversation with a real stranger it could be quite weird, and it will probably end up being a failure.

Therefore, if the girl you want to know better already has a little idea about who you are or has even seen you in person (although you have not had a direct conversation) when she receives your DM she will open it with much more confidence and surely with some curiosity, which is not bad for your mission of conquest. Once you are talking you will have to be as honest as you can, and show her your interest in a polite but direct way so that she is very clear from the beginning about what you are playing at.

This way you will avoid misunderstandings and you will be able to ask her to meet you in person for a coffee with the certainty that she will say yes and will not leave you in the dark. Because yes, although talking on Instagram chat is fine and everyone uses it nowadays to flirt and even to maintain long-distance relationships, if you use a DM to move from virtual reality to real life you will be much closer to conquering her.

Because what could be sexier than a nice guy who doesn’t beat around the bush and expresses his desire to see you in person to spend more time together? Bet on this strategy and you won’t fail!

2.     Respond to her stories

Nowadays everyone uses their Instagram stories to interact with the whole world and share their day-to-day, sell products, conduct surveys, etc. Therefore, using this powerful virtual tool to communicate with her and subtly let her know your interest is a very good option.

Close-up image of Instagram stories on mobile phone.

For example, if she regularly shares stories with questions about music or food, don’t hesitate to answer them all. Most importantly, after answering the survey, try to leave her a message in relation to that question, so that you can start a relaxed conversation that could turn into something more over time.

3.     Don’t Reply Right Away

One of the main mistakes that many young teenagers make trying to pick up a girl on Instagram is not knowing when to back off. If you have the unpleasant circumstance that the girl you have decided to send a DM to doesn’t respond to you and has left you on “read’”, you should not make the mistake of continuing to send her messages like crazy or even start insisting that she answers you immediately and gives you some kind of explanation about her behavior.

You must respect the girl’s space and her privacy, no matter how much you like her you should not forget that each person is free to answer to whoever he/she wants. Since showing you are nervous and insistent the only thing you will achieve is to push her further away from you.

Our advice if this happens to you is to be patient and look for a new occasion to send her another message, either through a story or a comment on a photo, maybe she didn’t answer you because she really forgot and when she sees you again that you are talking to her she reacts. Who knows!

Therefore, remember that a timely withdrawal can also be a victory. If the girl is interested in you and you are patient, sooner or later you will be able to talk and see each other in person. Insistence and aggressiveness are never the way.

4.     Make sure that your DM does not contain any spelling mistakes

Yes, my friend, a DM full of spelling mistakes or expressing yourself in a vulgar way is the quickest way for a girl to leave you in the dark and not want to know anything more about you. And for a first impression, there are never second chances, even if it is through words and through a mobile chat, and if the girl receives a message that she can not read the number of faults it contains, she will probably never answer it.

A guy who takes care of his words and worries about writing correctly is much more attractive, girls value that a lot. Don’t forget this and check with a proofreader if you need his DM before sending it!

5.     Be a gentleman

Be a gentleman and an example of good manners, even when you get rejected. If you’ve taken the plunge and after sending a very polite DM to a girl, she rejects you and tells you she has no interest in you, don’t lose your temper or let your manly pride take over.

Disappointed man while looking over his phone.

No, be a gentleman and wish her well. Falling into the mistake of getting cocky and start insulting her for not wanting to hear from you is the wrong way to go my friend, the only thing you will achieve is to completely alienate her and earn a very bad reputation among the rest of the women around her.

6.     Stay away from Instagram chat if you’ve had too much to drink

Everyone knows that when we get drunk we feel much braver and the words don’t come out by themselves, but taking advantage of this circumstance to send DM to a girl is not a good idea. When we’ve had too much to drink we tend to say a lot of nonsense and we also tend to overdo it and say things that are too off-color, something that will only make the DM to the girl you like possibly difficult to read and extremely unpleasant. That is to say, a complete disaster.

And of course, don’t even think of sending her an audio message taking advantage of a great moment of “inspiration”, that will only make the situation worse, and what’s worse, you will leave an indelible proof of your drunkenness forever.

7.     Make your DMs fun

Being tense when you’re about to send a DM to the girl you like is normal, but you should try not to make the message seem like it was written by an unfeeling robot. Try to start a relaxed conversation and if you are usually a cheerful guy who likes to joke about everything, show it.

Smiling young woman using a mobile phone.

It may sound like a cliche, but the reality is that women love to be made to laugh, not just any old laugh, but with intelligent and tasteful jokes. Make her have fun with you and show yourself very naturally in your DM. This way you will be a little closer to success and be able to have a date in person with the girl of your dreams.

8.     Don’t just talk about her looks

It’s 2022 and women have already made it clear that they are not just pretty vases that can smile and look good in photos, so if you’re going to send her a DM to let her know you’re interested in her, don’t just focus on praising her physique.

It’s important that you show interest in more about her, such as her hobbies, career, personal aspirations, etc. Of course, you can tell her that you find her attractive, I don’t think that offends anyone if it is said inappropriate terms, but try not to stop there and go deeper in your message.

Women are very complex beings full of sensitivity and intelligence, so if you want to get her attention you should try to allude to those virtues before any other more superficial ones.

9.     Focus on the things you have in common

If you have been following a girl on Instagram for a while and you want to have a conversation with her, you should try to make that conversation about a topic that you can talk about fluently, such as a series you are both watching, sports you practice or religious beliefs.

The chances of two people agreeing on something are very high, so don’t hesitate to do your research and send a DM that allows you to share opinions on a topic you’re both passionate about. It’s the best way to start flirting with a girl on social media! Don’t hesitate to put it into practice!

10.     Don’t be a weirdo

It is obvious that before sending a DM to the girl you like you will have done a thorough research of her profile and you will know a lot of things about her, but she doesn’t have to know that! Don’t make the mistake of sending a DM in which you explain in detail everything you know about her, that would be very weird, and rather than her liking you.

What you’ll do is scare her off. If you do that, you will surely end up on her blocked list, so control your impulses and write an informal message that any other guy could write.

Later on, you can tell her how much you liked her and how many times you looked at her feed pictures, but not in the first message, no way!

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How Do You DM A Girl On Instagram Without Being Creepy?

Many people think that sending a DM to a girl on Instagram in this day and age is really creepy, but it doesn’t have to be. The key to making a DM not creepy and a nice, friendly way to get to know someone? The intelligence, chivalry, and politeness showed by the guy writing it.

After all, for a guy and a girl to get to know each other, there will always be someone who has to take the first step and dare to break the ice, right? In the past, this always happened in person and it was very normal to see how a young man asked a girl to dance in a nightclub without knowing her at all. Why do it through the use of a social network would be less correct?

Young people today have a wide variety of tools with which to communicate with people from all over the world, which is great and makes no place ever really far away and allows the world to be a true melting pot of cultures.

However, meeting people from other cultures to make new friends or practice other languages is not the same as trying to talk to the girl you like. It takes courage to do so, whether in person or through a simple Instagram DM. The fear is the same, and the stomach aches you get when you send it to her and hope she reads it will be just as intense as it has been since dating and love proposals were invented.

Therefore, the answer to the question of whether sending a DM to flirt is something that will always seem creepy, we answer; no. It all depends on how you do it if your intentions are good and you are able to show politeness while fun and with a small point of mischief, your message will never be creepy. On the contrary, you will be a real seductive gentleman and all the girls will want you to be interested in them so they can get to know you better.

What To Say To Slide Into DMs?

If you don’t know how to start slipping into the universe of DMs and need a little extra inspiration for what to say to that girl you like so much, here are several phrases that are sure to make it perfect:

  • “You have a beautiful dog, what breed is it?”
  • “I love that song! I was at a concert of that group, and you’ve seen them?”
  • “Your profile has me fascinated, all your pictures are beautiful.”
  • “I love your tutorial stories about how to travel at low cost, you are very funny and you explain it very well.
  • “You practice a lot of sport! I am also a running lover, what routine do you do?”


In conclusion, young people of the world, you already know, that sending a DM to a girl on Instagram doesn’t have to be creepy if you follow our advice. On the other hand, remember that it’s not the end of the world that they don’t answer you, human relationships are not easy, and although social networks simplify everything in love, things don’t work like that.

Everything requires patience and effort, follow our wise advice and you will be a little bit closer to having your first date with the girl of your dreams.

We hope that through our article you have a little clearer what you should and should not do to send a DM to a girl on Instagram. And if you still have any doubts do not hesitate to contact us to stir it up.

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About Hugh Vinson

Hi there! My name is Hugh, and I am the owner and founder of GentlemenCenter. From Texas, USA, and with 2 sons in recent years I have had the experience of raising 2 young men. I am here to share my experiences with you, and help you with any questions you may have!

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