Have you been ghosted? Ghosting is a term that commonly refers to someone disappearing from our lives with little to no explanation. Perhaps they were very open and talkative. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, they don’t respond to your messages, calls, invites, etc.
This happens to almost everyone at some point in their life for various reasons. A person may lose interest in building the connection and/or not have the communication skills to relay how they feel. Furthermore, a person may be fearful of expressing themselves or entering into a commitment.
Regardless of the reason, it still hurts especially when the reason isn’t revealed to you. It only becomes natural that we begin to question why a person withdrew which may also lead to us doubting our value.
- 10 Steps How to Make a Guy Regret Ghosting You
- Do Guys Ever Regret Ghosting?
- What to Say to a Guy Who Has Ghosted You?
It’s their loss, so make it their loss. As corny or cliche as it sounds. “Rejection is our protection.” You deserve for your worth to be seen. And, if a person is willing to ghost you without explanation, then it’s safe to say they didn’t consider how important closure might be to you.
While we should never seek revenge, it does feel a bit good to see others reflect on the way they treated us. So, if you’ve been ghosted by a guy, here are a few steps you can take to make him regret it and rethink his poor decision.
10 Steps How to Make a Guy Regret Ghosting You
1. Purge to Heal
Forgiveness is not for the other person. It’s what will set you free. If a guy knows you still have feelings for him and are hoping for a reconciliation of some sort, he may continue to take you for granted, expecting you to always be around. So, it’s best for you to heal. Ghosting drudges up feelings of abandonment, self-doubt, betrayal, and rejection in many cases.
In order to make him regret ghosting you, you have to disconnect from feeling like you need him. As you grieve, you’ll feel unhealthy habits and negative feelings about yourself begin to fade away. Cry when you need to. Yell when you need to. Let it go.
2. Self-Love 24/7
It’s time for you to invest in yourself. If you’ve spent most of your time building a connection with someone, invest all your time, energy, and efforts into loving yourself. A huge part of healing requires loving yourself. For all the love they couldn’t or didn’t give you, you will give to yourself 24/7.
Take a bath. Use gentle words to yourself. Practice having gratitude. Treat yourself to a spa day. Do whatever it takes to treat yourself how you deserve to be treated and want others to treat you.
3. Be More Selective
Nothing’s wrong with being a bit picky. When we are more selective in where we put our time, energy, money, and effort, we find our life transforms before our eyes. So, instead of saying “yes”, try saying “no” to those who want to drain you.
Be honest with yourself about who you keep in your life. Do they add or subtract? Do they energize or drain your energy? Being more selective will help you save a lot of time, energy, effort money, and sanity.
4. Upgrade Your Look
Switch it up! Say “hello” to the new you. Changing your appearance also counts as a self-love activity. This challenges you to get out of your comfort zone and see yourself differently. Change your hairstyle, hair color, wardrobe, or whatever else you desire. Get that tattoo or piercing you always wanted or wear something you don’t normally wear out.
When you look good, you feel good and carry yourself with more confidence. As you carry yourself with more confidence, you attract others who see your value and treat you accordingly.
5. Spend More Time with Friends & Family
When dating a guy or in a relationship, it’s not uncommon that we find ourselves prioritizing that connection. As a result, we may spend less time with friends and family. We might even lose some of our identity by trying to maintain this connection.
Friends and family are important when dealing with a ghosting situation. Our friends and family give us much-needed support especially if we’re feeling undervalued. Surround yourself with loved ones and have fun.
6. Get New Hobbies
Speaking of fun, get some new hobbies. Becoming a new and better person isn’t just about how you look but what you do. So, do some things you haven’t done before. Maybe you didn’t feel you had the resources or time to explore your interests. Now, you have ample time to go after your dreams. You’ll be so busy with your new life, you won’t have time to care about the guy who ghosted you.
7. Forgive Yourself
If you’re feeling foolish for ignoring any red flags, forgiving yourself is just as necessary as forgiving those who’ve ghosted you. When we forgive ourselves for the mistakes we’ve made and give ourselves compassion, we free ourselves from feeling regret. It’s never too late to start doing right by yourself.
8. Know Your Worth More
Understand that you deserve better. To see the red flags and ignore them in hopes that someone will do the right thing is being in denial. There are those of us who forgive someone only to allow them to continue to hurt us. In the case of a “serial ghoster”, you must ask yourself why you’re settling for less. Once a person has shown you who they are, it’s imperative that you believe them the first time.
Sometimes, we stay in bad situations longer than we should because it’s become uncomfortably comfortable. We might be codependent on what is known even if what’s known is unhealthy. We tend to fear the unknown. However, there is a saying that “fear is temporary and regret can last forever.” Know your worth more and take a chance on yourself instead of taking a risk believing in the unfulfilled potential of someone else.
9. Don’t Wait
And, life goes on. Don’t wait around for them to come back or have the realization of what they lost. Know that as long as you are flourishing, they will regret their actions towards you. As soon as we truly let go, we find that these same individuals resurface. This is because they sense they are losing any chance of being with you as you’ve evolved past the point of being accessible to them.
10. Start Dating
To really have them regret ghosting you, start dating. After you’ve healed and invested in yourself, find someone who has also healed and invested in themselves. Open yourself up to receiving love that is mutual and energizing without you needing to jump through hoops for it. It will really resonate with the one who ghosted you that you are actually moving on.
Do Guys Ever Regret Ghosting?
Whether a guy regrets ghosting you or not really depends on the guy. If a guy was manipulating the connection for his own personal gain and ghosted because he wasn’t getting what he wanted, then it’s likely that he doesn’t regret ghosting you. In scenarios like these, the guy is either incredibly selfish and/or dealing with narcissistic tendencies where love is not something that they can readily reciprocate.
If this is the type of guy who has ghosted you, the chances are that you are not the only one he has done this to. People like this tend to look for self-gratification through using other people. This is something known as “narcissistic supply” which is a psychoanalytic theory that refers to “pathological or excessive need for attention or admiration from codependents.” If you’re dealing with this kind of person, they usually don’t regret ghosting because they look at most people as supplies rather than feeling empathy and remorse.
If you aren’t dealing with someone diagnosed with narcissism or someone with narcissistic tendencies, they can simply just be very selfish. If a guy is selfish, he may also likely be codependent as well. Individuals who are codependent on other people romantically aren’t expressing love in a healthy way either. The connection between you two is usually stifled because the guy may not be able to reach to emotional depths they could due to habits of forming unhealthy attachments rather than developing deeper connections.
You may find the relationship is also deprived of emotional intimacy and/or expression of one’s feelings towards you. A guy’s ego may be so big that he feels his selfishness is justified. However, these kinds of people usually regret ghosting you because they still tend to have a level of compassion or empathy as opposed to the aforementioned “narcissist.”
Though, even with some empathy, a guy like this can also come across as defensive in order to continue to protect their ego. The longer there is no contact and the more you evolve, their ego begins to break down more and more which tends to reveal to them the magnitude of what they left behind. This realization brings very deep regret that even turns into grief in most cases.
Not all guys are narcissistic in nature or selfish. In fact, some can be very insecure and have a habit of self-sabotaging. Another reason a guy ghosts you can be because they don’t think they’re good enough for you. And they don’t know how to tell you or they don’t even realize how insecure they really are. A guy may become so overwhelmed that he doesn’t know the words to speak to relay how he truly feels.
Thus, ghosting becomes more of a coping mechanism for him. As he becomes more aware of his habits and feelings of unworthiness, he does regret jeopardizing the connection. Those are just a few common reasons why guys ghost. There are also the occasions of feeling overwhelmed/fearful about taking the relationship to the next level.
A more malicious reason why a guy ghosts can be to punish someone with the silent treatment due to poor communication skills and the desire to feed the ego. Regardless of the reason why you are ghosted, it’s important to know how to handle yourself after the fact.
What to Say to a Guy Who Has Ghosted You?
We can’t control the actions of others, but we can control our reactions to them. Never give a guy that much importance over your life. There’s almost an immediate inclination to take some form of revenge when dealing with a person ghosting us especially if we’ve invested much of our time, energy, and efforts.
So, you may likely want to vent these frustrations regarding the disrespect. But it’s not always wise to vent to the very person who hurt you as this can just give them more fuel for the fire. It’s essential that you have an idea of the type of guy you’re dealing with.
Sharing your hurt feelings with someone who is selfish and/or narcissistic may just inflate their ego even more and make them feel superior in the situation. For these kinds of men, it’s best to say nothing at all. Grow in silence. When they see you at your best, they suffer a huge hit to the ego because they are forced to see that you are so much better without them.
The more empowered you feel and look, the more they regret how they treated you. When dealing with a guy who sabotaged the relationship, this will likely reaffirm how much he didn’t deserve you. Or, if he took you for granted, he’ll definitely be knee-deep in regret seeing you at your fullest potential.
Perhaps you feel you just need closure and voicing yourself will help, you can let him know how his actions have hurt you and what you’ve had to invest thus far for the connection. Some guys genuinely do not know how much their actions have hurt you. Some do not want to take responsibility. How or if they respond will tell you all you need to know about their character if you were having any doubts or second guesses.
It never feels good to be used, manipulated taken for granted, or pushed away. Whatever reason a guy has for ghosting you is never acceptable. Though, while it hurts, it’s vital to continue making yourself a priority.
Don’t do this to take revenge on the person, but to realize they didn’t deserve you either way. As you become the best version of yourself, those who’ve ghosted you will automatically regret how they’ve treated you which is just the icing on top of an already amazing cake!