The conversation went well. The time spent went by fast. It seems by all experience the date was a success. Yet the next day rolls around, and your messages stay dry. You play it cool, but the next few days drag on as your messages go unanswered.
It can be saddening and heartbreaking and make you feel like you’re losing your mind. Here’s what to do if a guy doesn’t text you for a week.
Why Do Guys Take So Long to Text Back
Sometimes people are just busy doing other things, talking with others, or have set down their phones. It can be normal for it to take some time. Sometimes guys gauge how they feel and take time to text back so as not to seem desperate themselves.
Allow yourself and them a chance to text back promptly. They might be busy for various unknown reasons, and sometimes they’ll provide those reasons for you in the chat.
I remember one of the first text message conversations I had with my now-current boyfriend. I sent him a message and was freaking out cause it had been nearly four to five hours since I had heard anything from him. I was on the verge of an emotional spiral considering possibly that he just was done talking to me.
That is until I received a text message informing me that he had been busy installing a dishwasher for a friend and an accompanying picture of the dishwasher in place.
So maybe give it some time, and allow them a chance to text back. Do not ignore the red flags of going too long to text back. If they take days to text back, and if a guy doesn’t text you for a week, take it as a clear red flag that the guy is clearly playing games or doesn’t want to continue the conversation.
Should I Text Him Back?
No. Stop texting him if he has gone an extended time without texting you. If he has not provided any forward movement to the conversation except for one-word answers, let the discussion run dry.
It is known that most texts are read within three minutes of being received and will be responded to in under ninety seconds. That is to say, if he can’t be bothered to text you back, then he no longer wishes to continue the conversation.
The desire to follow up text message after text message in the face of being ignored is understandable, but the problem is it rarely works and makes you seem desperate. Think about it this way. Would you ever make someone beg or plead just to understand their place in your life or for closure?
No. I didn’t think so. Then realize that you have clearly dodged a bullet. The bullet of someone who can’t communicate the most basic emotions clearly, healthily, or even hold a conversation. Don’t allow someone to treat you like an option, especially when you’ve gone out of the way to make them a priority.
The Five R’s or What to Do
1. Remind
The reality is that no response is a response. It is so accurate that it takes very little to return a text message. Take it as a sign that the person is just not that into you. This may sound harsh and be a hard pill to swallow. It’s essential to remember to only give your energy to people who reciprocate that energy back to you. So, if a guy doesn’t text you for a week, stop texting him. He’s proven he is no longer worth the energy or stress to get to know.
Allow yourself the understandable emotions that come with rejection. Process them, sit with them and work through them. Realize that a text message is a bare minimum if he is genuinely interested in you.
Think of it this way. You go to a fancy club and must pay a ten-dollar cover charge to get in. What happens if you don’t pay the ten-dollar cover charge? You do not get in. The access to getting to know you as a person is the simple ability to maintain a conversation and text back within a reasonable timeframe. If they’re not willing, they’re not that into you, and you should move on.
It is important to remind yourself that you are worthy of attention, affection, respect, and validation. If someone is incapable of that, then let them go. They’re losing you and what have you lost. Someone who can’t even be bothered to spend ninety seconds texting you back. So you’re really not losing anything.
2. Regather
It is understandable to feel feelings of hurt and pain when rejected. Allow yourself to feel those feelings. Don’t try to move past them too quickly or ignore them.
Emotions are how our minds and hearts process and deal with the world around them. Allow yourself to feel these very normal feelings and examine how you can move past these feelings in healthy ways.
Spend some time journaling about how the experience made you feel and how you can face these feelings and learn from these experiences. Spend time talking with a family member, loved one, or a friend about how you feel. Simply expressing your feelings often goes a long way to feeling better and processing emotions. Journaling also allows you to see how you dealt with these feelings in the past thereby allowing you to understand better coping mechanisms.
Remind yourself that there is a future ahead of you filled with many more people you haven’t met yet. That the guy who couldn’t be bothered to text you back is barely a blip of your life and genuinely insignificant compared to all the people you will get to know.
It is important to not fight your feelings. Fighting, suppressing, or pushing through these feelings is often how one eventually finds themselves burned out and overwhelmed. It is essential to understand these feelings are natural, and the worse thing one can do is push them off to deal with another time. It can often make someone numb, leading them to make poor decisions and never experience emotional growth as a person.
So spend time processing your feelings. If you do not understand them, take the time to connect with them. Speak to others to understand their perspectives and validate your own feelings.
3. Redirect
It is understandable to be hurt and to feel negative feelings when being rejected by a potential romantic partner. The best way you can healthily handle these feelings is to practice some self-care. Self-care, in various ways, allows us to pour the energy and intention back into ourselves and healthily process our emotions.
So, take time and realize that rejection is a natural part of the dating experience. In the words of the Dita Von Teese, “You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there’s still going to be somebody who hates peaches.” Not everyone will want to be with you, but they don’t determine your worth only you do.
So take the time and pour your love back into yourself. You can do this in several ways.
- Go to the gym or a run or a walk. Anything that gets your heart rate up and your blood pumping. Simple, moderate exercise for as little as ten minutes can help boost your mood and provide perspective.
- Go get a massage. Go to the spa. Go get your nails or hair done. Allow some time. Put a priority in that your time to make yourself and your happiness a priority.
- Spend time with friends. A simple conversation and encouragement from a group of friends can be vital to bouncing back to your feet and reminding you of your own innate worth. Relationships with friends and spending time growing them is crucial and can help you move past if a guy doesn’t text you for a week.
- Start that hobby you’ve been wanting. Use that experience to push you to make the necessary personal changes for your own self-development and growth. Allow yourself the opportunity to discover more things about yourself.
4. Rediscover
It is essential to take the time to reconnect with yourself. Remind yourself of your own self-worth. Spend time taking care of your needs and wants.
Buy that book. Spend time in the bath with some scented candles. Take yourself to see that movie. It is vital to grow and invest in your own growth and development as a person.
Take yourself on a date. Go to your favorite coffee shop, restaurant, or wherever. Realize that you are worthy of good times and good experiences and that they don’t have to be tied to sharing it with a romantic partner. Treat yourself like you want to be treated
Understanding your own worth and what you deserve is essential. For yourself as well as simple to ensure you hold any future romantic partners to your own self-standard established by understanding who you are and what you bring to the table.
It also allows you to understand what you want from a partner. What do you desire them to be? What do you want them to be capable of? What do you expect from them as people?
It may seem daunting dating yourself or even, in some minds, silly. I challenge you with this. Do you love yourself? Do you want to love yourself better? Why would taking yourself on a date seem silly? Don’t you deserve the energy and intent you practice trying to love another? Do it, you deserve it!
5. Remember
Remember that this one man is not the only man you’ll ever meet. Remember that you are vetting these men as romantic partners as well. Remember that they must pass specific tests and checkboxes to prove themselves worthy of getting to know you more.
Remember that if they can not do the simple or easy, how will they do the more complex or challenging. Will they remember your birthday? Will they remember your favorite color? Will they remember other vital events? Especially if they can not even remember to text you back.
Remember that rejection from someone is not the end of the world. Remember that life is much more than just searching for romantic partners. Remember that you are worth more than the crumbs someone decides to feed you.
Remember your own self-worth. Great practice in remembering your worth is the practice of affirmations.
What are affirmations? A simple declaration of intention and energy that you remember to do at a set time every day to help set the mood and purpose of your day.
Set a time, so you do not forget. Look yourself in the eyes in a mirror and repeat these or similar phrases back to yourself. There is no wrong way to do it; do it as often as you feel is necessary. I like to do it three times for three unique phrases and allow myself time to feel the words and understand what I am saying.
It is a simple way by which you take time to pour back your energy into yourself. Remember that you matter and your power and purpose are essential and a priority.
You got this! I believe in you!
Conclusion
It can be challenging if a guy doesn’t text you for a week but do not text him again. Put the phone down. Remind yourself of your worth, regather your feelings and process your emotions, redirect your power and energy back into yourself, rediscover your own light and how you are magnificent, and remember that love and the path to it is never the straightest or most straightforward path.
Allow yourself the process of self-love using the suggestions here or find others. Comment any suggestions on how you practice self-love and emotion regulation when going through rejection. Also, if you’re just curious and have questions, put those in a comment below.