Do I Tell Her How I Feel? Here’s What You Should Do

Whether you are in a close friendship, you have just met someone, or you have been in an informal yet romantic relationship, the question of “should I tell her how I feel” finally approaches you. There are numerous thoughts and feelings to consider before you dive into sharing what is in your head and your heart.

Read on to address what you should reflect upon before you communicate your feelings, why it is important to share your feelings and be true to yourself, how your feelings could impact her and what the best way is to deliver your feelings.

Although this might seem like a lot to digest, you will be much happier and more content knowing that you have considered how you feel and how you deliver your feelings carefully.

Reasons I Should Tell Her How I Feel

Firstly, one of the main reasons that you should tell her how you feel is that you need to be true to yourself so you do not look back in the future with any regrets for not expressing yourself. Knowing that you have shared what you really feel inside will help me to feel confident and original. When you carry a large number of intense emotions around with you, they can build up and fester and this impacts your ability to be truly happy.

Once you have shared your feelings, the release will allow you to move forwards whilst knowing where you stand. Being open also allows you to feel incredibly free. When you aren’t being your authentic self you can start to feel quite trapped within and sometimes the simplest of actions can help you move forwards in the greatest of ways.

Man opening up in a group of friends.

When asking, “should I tell her how I feel” you should consider that she could share the same feelings. Although you may find it nerve-racking to vocalize how you feel, it can also be incredibly cathartic and it can also provide the other person with an opportunity to say if they have any feelings that they haven’t felt comfortable expressing.

If you don’t approach the subject and you both have feelings for each other then this means that an opportunity for you both to be happy could go amiss. It is also possible that she might have been refraining from sharing how she feels for a really long time too and similarly, it could also be a relief for her to express how she feels.

If you have never entered a relationship before, asking “should I tell her how I feel” can be a really daunting prospect. I can understand how the entire thought of approaching the topic let alone sharing in-depth thoughts and feelings can be. It takes great courage and bravery to deliver personal and meaningful feelings because this presents the possibility of rejection.

This can be quite intimidating as you won’t know how you are going to feel afterward and it is a big step to take. You may also have concerns about how this could impact your self-esteem if the response is negative but it is important to remember that no matter the response, you have remained true to yourself and you have developed your ability to communicate special and important emotions.

Once you have expressed your feelings, there is the possibility for a relationship to flourish and it could even lead to a long-term relationship. We could even find that we have a significant amount in common and that we would both like to go on dates that involve similar hobbies and events.

A couple showing affection to each other.

The relationship could be meaningful on a range of levels that involve improving our social quality of life and also companionship which will result in increased positive emotions on a regular basis. Additionally, if we already have a strong friendship, the roots of the relationship will already be in the ground, and sharing my feelings will only allow this relationship to grow.

Articulating my feelings to her will improve the way in which I communicate. Prior to sharing your feelings, you can consider what are the best words to use that will get your emotions across and you can also focus on how to deliver your feelings by considering my tone and the opportunities that I provide for her to ask me any questions.

It is also vital to consider how the other person will feel throughout the entirety of the interaction and to remember to take the time to pause so that they can process and reflect on what is being said. You never fully know how the interaction will end but there is always the possibility that it could end with a coffee or a nice walk and a step into a new and exciting future.

Reasons Why I Shouldn’t Tell Her How I Feel

When you have not fully processed my emotions, it can be challenging for me to fully put into words how I feel. My emotions could be expressed in an unclear and disjointed way and this could lead to some confusion for both her and you.

If you share your feelings when they have not been processed properly, this could even lead you to question whether the feelings are fleeting or long-lasting. If you have not addressed your feelings before you have spoken about them then this could also lead you to feel significantly different about your feelings once they have been shared and you could feel frustrated that you didn’t spend more time reflecting upon how they would sound once they had been shared out in the open.

Confused man shrugging his shoulders.

If the feelings are temporary and they change, you won’t be able to take them back; plus, if you already have a friendship then this could have a long-term negative impact on the relationship.

Whilst posing the question, “should I tell her how I feel” it is important to consider what impact this could have on friendship groups that are already in place. If you are both a part of the same friendship group, then this could have a major impact upon the dynamic of the group in either the short-term, the long-term, or both.

For other people who are a part of the friendship group, they might then begin to question whether their friends have other feelings for them that have not been shared. This could lead to a breakdown in communication among friends if some feel embarrassed and potentially then even a breakdown in trust.

Overall, there could be real changes to the entirety of the group. Furthermore, if our relationship is not stable and our relationship status changes regularly then this could also lead to disturbances within the group.

It is really important when considering “should I tell her how I feel” to think about this is going to be received. Even if the feelings are reciprocated by her, it could take a while for the relationship to adjust, and whilst these adjustments occur it could have a negative impact on studies, hobbies, and everyday life.

Whilst the relationship adapts, this could lead to many distractions and the areas that you have been excelling in could deteriorate as you will have to focus on the changeable emotions and phases as the relationship settles.

Astounded woman gasping from amazement.

Another area to consider when asking, “should I tell her how I feel”, is that the feelings could come as a shock to her and overwhelm her significantly. If there has been a long-term friendship then the feelings could even upset her as she may not feel sure how to initially respond to them or how to move forwards with the relationship.

Once you have shared your feelings it is likely that you will both have to decide together how you are going to move forwards with your continued friendship, a new relationship, or whether you will both go your separate ways.

Should I Be Honest About My Feelings For Her?

Even if you have been in a friendship or a platonic relationship with her and you are concerned about how it will impact the friendship, then you should still express how you feel as you will be being honest with yourself and with her. Over time, not sharing your feelings honestly can lead to a lack of confidence. By being open and honest this action will show her that this is my personality and it will help to develop trust initially. Being honest about my feelings may help her to feel comfortable about expressing hers – whether they are reciprocated or not.

Another important factor to consider when asking “should I tell her how I feel” is that it is incredibly important to be true to the relationship. If you have regular contact with her and you aren’t sharing your true and honest feelings then the relationship isn’t genuine. If later on down the line in the friendship you reveal that you have had romantic feelings and you didn’t share them, this could lead to her feeling betrayed and distrusting.

Young friends playing selfies on the camera.

It might also make her question how to move forwards with the friendship if she doesn’t reciprocate the feelings. Furthermore, being honest about my feelings for her could be liberating. Sharing your feelings is not only an act of honesty but putting your true self out to the universe, means that you can share your individuality with the world and with the person that you care about.

Once you have shared your honest feelings for her and they are out in the open, I might find that I feel different within myself. Expressing your feelings could help you to learn about new parts of your personality and if it grows into a relationship then the activities that you engage in could also help you to learn about yourself too.

If you are trying to seek real, true, and genuine love then you should definitely approach the question, “should I tell her how I feel?” If you are unable to express your honest feelings, then it may be challenging to ever be truly happy and if you enter into another relationship that does not satisfy all of your emotional needs, then you may continue to long for the relationship where you held real, genuine feelings. You could end up longing for your previous love and this disingenuine behavior could lead you to hurt several other people, not forgetting yourself.

How Do I Tell Her My True Feelings?

As I consider, “should I tell her how I feel” you should think about the variety of ways that you can deliver your feelings. You know that you should consider what is the best way for you to tell her and also the best way that she might like to receive the information. Plus what might be the most gentle way to share your feelings.

One of the most go-to options for expressing “should I tell her how I feel” can be putting our emotions into words. If you already have a strong rapport with the female that you are going to be sharing your feelings with, then this could be a considerable option – especially if you are both confident communicators. Verbal communication can also be great for sensitive and shy personalities too, but what it really comes down to is what you and she will be most comfortable with.

Although simply starting up a conversation about your true feelings might seem like the most obvious option, there are so many other ways to express what is kept inside. One option is to write a song. The song could be a journey from the beginning of when the emotions began to where they are in the current moment.

The song could be recorded and sent to her or you could even play it live in a romantic setting or somewhere that is meaningful to you both. This could be an ideal option if you think that directly sharing how you feel would perhaps be too much for her or slightly overwhelming.

Man writing a love letter to his sweetheart.

One traditional way to deliver “should I tell her how I feel” is to write a letter. A letter enables you to plan exactly what you want to say clearly and take your time to write your feelings out. You can revise what you have written and adapt it. There is no limit to how many drafts you can write and you might feel that as you write your feelings change.

This process really enables you to write how you feel clearly and this clarity might even improve your chances of your feelings being properly heard, felt, and understood. Once your feelings are down on paper you can consider if you would like to read the letter out loud to her or whether you would like to post it.

A unique option when considering “should I tell her how I feel” is the idea of putting my feelings on small pieces of paper and also writing love quotes. The quotes can be yours or famous quotes or you can write a combination of both and they could be put in a decorated jar. You can consider personalizing the jar with colors, sequins, or pictures that would be to her taste.

This is a really sentimental idea and would be really suitable for a creative or artsy lady. Again, if you want to reciprocate her feelings, this provides her with the option of writing quotes or her feelings on pieces of paper and then returning the jar.

Alternatively, she could decorate her own jar. If romantic feelings are reciprocated, this thought-provoking activity could be an everlasting activity that you enjoy in your relationship.

Lastly, is the idea of writing a poem. Sonnets are traditional love poems and they are a kind and gentle way to share your feelings. There are other ways to enhance the beauty of your poem by decorating the paper with glitter pens or tye-dying the page. You can choose her favorite colors or a combination of colors that you might consider to be romantic.

Another option is to deliver how you feel verbally accompanied with a written Haiku. A Haiku is a short, three-line poem and this could add to the sentimentality of the occasion.

How do you confess your feelings to someone?

It can be intimidating to confess your feelings to your crush, but it doesn’t have to be. You may learn to express your sentiments in a creative way to help calm your nervousness, as well as having talks with that individual that make both of you feel more at ease. Learn a little more about the person you like before you start, and you’ll have an excellent ground.

A man confessing his feelings to a woman.

Take an interest in their interests and activities. Before you reveal your feelings, attempt to get to know your crush on a more personal level, as things may organically grow from there. Invite the person to do an activity that they enjoy. If the opportunity arises, be nice and flirty, as this is a more effective way of expressing your feelings for someone than speaking it out loud.

Talk to the person you like in the same way you would with any of your friends or other people you feel at ease with. Simply be yourself. If this really excites them or if they look thrilled and ready to go with you, take it as a positive indication and take the next step.

Is expressing love necessary?

For relationships of a transactional nature? No. You are not expected to express love towards your acquaintances, colleagues, or teammates, for example. You enter these relationships for a specific reason, namely because you happen to work towards the same goals.

However, for a genuine, meaningful, and rewarding relationship, a bond of mutual love and trust is imperative for it to function as intended. What’s scary is that many people will form a partnership without building it on love and trust. They might enter a marriage simply because it’s convenient, financially beneficial, or out of fear of being alone.

These relationships tend to come with diminished sexual satisfaction, disconnectedness, and toxic feelings plus actions. Healthy relationships form through openness, boundary setting, and subsequently agreeableness (on top of compatibility).

In conclusion, expressing love is necessary for a healthy and loving relationship. How people express love and what they define as love differs between people, and you don’t necessarily have to express your love verbally.

Getting to know your love languages and your potential partner’s or friend’s, will help you and your counterpart to express love in a way that resonates with your respective view of what love is. It will also give you a clearer perspective of who is more suited to give to and receive love from you.

“Love is complicated.” is a common saying, but it’s only complicated if you (and your counterparts) make it that.


One point that has been highlighted throughout this article is the importance of remaining true and honest to yourself and to those around you. Sharing your feelings with someone who you care about is an important step and it is really important to think about how it will impact your own emotional well-being, their well-being, and how it could impact other areas of your life.

There are so many personalized ways to deliver what you want to say and enhance the possibility of a new relationship. It is both freeing and liberating to express heartfelt emotions and to take that step to share how you really feel could lead to an entirely new direction in your life and a romantic journey.

Please feel free to comment if you have any questions.

“To love is a great gift and to share love is an even greater gift.

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About Hugh Vinson

Hi there! My name is Hugh, and I am the owner and founder of GentlemenCenter. From Texas, USA, and with 2 sons in recent years I have had the experience of raising 2 young men. I am here to share my experiences with you, and help you with any questions you may have!

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