Maybe you’re not the type of person who has a “friend” so much as an acquaintance, or maybe you are. But what if your friend seemed by all accounts to be your friend, even best friend material at times, but over time it turned out they don’t care about you? What are some signs that your friend doesn’t care about you?
Well, that’s a tough question. I don’t think there is such thing as “not caring about someone.” After all, we’re all human, and we’re not sociopaths. People should feel something when they interact with another person. But, yeah, maybe your friend doesn’t care about you if they portray these signs:
11 Signs Your Friend Doesn’t Care About You
1. They never check in on you when you’re sick, depressed, or having a rough time. You know this is a sign of caring about someone because even if you weren’t told “I care about my friends” directly, it’s something people do to show they care. It’s not as friendly as bringing soup over, but it’s caring.
2. They don’t give you advice when you ask for it, and if they do, they only tell you things that benefit them in some way (e.g., ”be careful,” “do this,” etc.). This is a sign because if your friend were invested in your well-being and happiness, he’d want to give you advice that would help you. If your friend is only giving advice when it benefits him, and if there’s no benefit to him in the long term (e g., having a happy and successful best friend), he doesn’t care about you enough to bother with actually helping you.
3. They always cancel on you at the last minute or disappear when something cool happens and don’t invite you. This is a sign of someone who either isn’t making time for you anymore or just not thinking about your relationship as being important enough to worry about whether you’re there or not. If your friend didn’t care about you, he wouldn’t think twice about leaving you out and sometimes ditching plans at the last minute.
4. When you talk, they don’t make any effort to listen or show interest in what you’re saying (e g., looking around, checking their phone). Another way to look at this is that if your friend didn’t care about you, he wouldn’t be there talking to you. So, knowing they’re there but not listening or caring about what you’re saying is a sign that they don’t care.
5. They aren’t interested in any of the things that are important to you. This can be anything from the movie you went to see, to where you’re going on vacation in a couple of months. If your friend doesn’t care about the things that are important to you, then it’s because he doesn’t seem to care about you in general.
6. When they tell people about what’s going on in your life, they don’t give enough detail or they don’t mention you. This is a subtle sign, but telling people about what’s going on in someone’s life can either be done in a ton of detail or with very little detail, depending on the listener. If your friend is only giving out bare-bones details, not mentioning you directly when talking to other people, it’s because he isn’t very invested in your life.
7. They make fun of how you feel (e.g., when you get excited about something, they mock how you feel). If your friend is already laughing at the fact that you’re getting excited over something before even hearing what it is, then they are making fun of you before they have even heard what’s going on. This signifies that your friend doesn’t care about the relationship enough to take anything you say seriously.
8. They don’t ever invite you out, and they say no when you invite them out (e.g., movies, dinner, play, etc.). If your friend isn’t willing to go out with you even though most of the time it’s something that would be enjoyable for both of you, then he doesn’t care about your friendship enough.
9. They don’t reply to your texts, emails, or Facebook messages for more than 24 hours. If your friend isn’t making enough effort to reply to you quickly (e.g.. within the hour), then it’s because he doesn’t care about how you feel and is taking you for granted as a part of his life.
10. They don’t care how you feel unless they know you’re upset, and then they only do the bare minimum to cheer you up This is a sign because if someone cared about that person, they would want to try to cheer them up more than just opening the door when they get home or saying, “what’s wrong?” If your friend wasn’t invested in you, he’d ask what’s wrong and then not do much about it.
11. They don’t care about your schedule or doing things with you on the weekends. If your friend doesn’t bother checking what you’re up to on the weekend, whether it’s hanging out or just talking, then he isn’t interested in being part of your life during that period. This is because if someone cared about you, they would want to spend that time with you.
How do you know when a friend doesn’t value you?
It’s sometimes difficult to see when someone doesn’t value your friendship, but it’s important not to ignore the signs. If you feel like a friend isn’t valuing your friendship, ask yourself why you are friends with them in the first place – maybe there is nothing wrong with them, but you need to reevaluate your friendship.
If someone doesn’t value your friendship or respect how much they mean to you, then that’s not something you should ever let them get away with. If they don’t see your friendship as precious, then it’s time to make some changes. You deserve more than that.
12 Signs That Shows Your Friend Doesn’t Value You
1. They don’t ask you for your opinion. If someone doesn’t care about your opinion, then it’s because you don’t know them well enough, and they don’t value your thoughts and feelings. If someone cares about you, they will want to know what you think. If this is happening, it’s time to rethink the relationship.
2. They make plans without consulting you. If a friend is making plans with other people or planning on going somewhere without even thinking to ask if you can come along too, then this is a sign that they don’t value your friendship. They don’t see you as a part of their life enough to want to share memories with you.
3. They are only giving the bare minimum. If they are giving you just the basics, not making an effort to get to know you or including you in plans, then they aren’t investing in the relationship at all. If your friend doesn’t value your friendship, don’t let them drag you down by being in their life.
4. They flake on plans with you. If someone makes plans with you and then backs out for no real reason, it’s because they don’t want to spend time with you. Therefore, this person is unreliable and doesn’t care about how you feel or how important their presence is to you.
5. They don’t ask you how you’re doing. If a friend doesn’t make an effort to make small talk with you or ask about your day, then they aren’t as invested in your friendship as much as they should be and therefore don’t value your relationship enough.
6. They are always late or too busy to hang out. If your friend is constantly making excuses not to meet up with you, it’s because they don’t care about keeping in touch with you. It’s important to let this person go if they aren’t interested in how you feel or what is going on.
7. They only want to talk about themselves. This is a red flag because if they only want to talk about themselves, they don’t care how you feel or what’s going on in your life. If someone isn’t invested in your happiness, then they should leave the relationship.
8. They make you feel like you can’t talk to them about anything because they always get defensive or change the subject. If that’s the case, your friend isn’t someone you should be talking with either because their defensiveness means they don’t care enough about what matters to you and instead value their interests.
9. They let you help them or do things for them but never return the favour when it’s their turn to need your help. Letting someone help you isn’t a bad thing, though it would be better if both of you were giving back equally so that neither one of you feels taken advantage of. However, if your friend never tries to return the favor when it’s their turn to need you, then they can’t be bothered to put to be a supportive friend.
10. They are never there for you when you need them. A friend does not have to be with their friend every second of the day, but if they are always too busy or don’t care enough about your feelings or what’s going on in your life, then this person isn’t trying hard enough to support you and therefore doesn’t deserve a place in your life.
11. They only do things with you when they’re too busy doing something else (e.g., “Oh. I can’t hang out later because I’m going out with my family”). If this is the case, it’s time to let go of this friendship and realize that your friend isn’t as invested as they should be.
12. They don’t introduce you to their friends. If a friend doesn’t introduce you to their friends or family, they aren’t making an effort to have you in their lives and care about what’s going on. If this person valued you, then they would want you to be a part of their life.
💡 Do you need to ask yourself why you're friends with someone who doesn't value your friendship the same way you value theirs?
10 Signs of Fake Friends
1. They are all talk and no action
Sometimes people will say they want to support you or be there for you, but nothing changes when the time comes. If this happens regularly, it’s likely your friends aren’t investing in getting to know you more. If they were, they wouldn’t make empty promises like this. If all they care about is what you can do for them, then it’s time to cut the chord and make new friends who will support you.
2. They don’t show up when you need them most
Part of being a good friend is showing up when your friend needs some help or moral support during difficult times in their lives. If your friend isn’t there for you, it’s time to reevaluate the friendship and ask yourself if this person is someone you can trust or rely on in difficult times.
3. They don’t make any plans with you unless they need something from you
If your friends are only talking to you when they want something from you, they aren’t making any effort to be there for you and support you when they don’t need anything from you. This type of friend is self-centered and doesn’t deserve your time or company. You can replace them with a better friend who will care about what’s going on in your life.
4. They make you feel like you owe them
Some people will guilt-trip you and make you feel unappreciated if they don’t get what they want from you. If this is the case, then it’s time to reassess the friendship and realize that your friend isn’t as trustworthy as you thought they were. These types of friends will hold it against you in the future when they want something from you. So, it’s best to cut ties with them before they have a chance to make you feel even more stressed.
5. They are always too busy for you or don’t seem concerned when you tell them about what’s going on in your life
If this is the case, your friend isn’t showing that they care about you or what matters to you. It’s time to stop investing in this friendship if they aren’t making an effort to be there for you when it counts.
6. They don’t prioritize spending time with you and even cancel plans last minute
If your friend doesn’t make an effort to be there for you, why should you continue investing in this friendship? If they’re not willing to drop other commitments that come up and make time for you, then it’s not worth spending your time with them.
7. They don’t care when you tell them something important or life-changing that happened to you
If your friend doesn’t seem concerned about the things that matter most in your life, it’s likely because they’re self-centered, and all they care about is their problems. If they want to be a better friend, they should invest some time in getting to know you more and being there for you during difficult times.
8. They only talk about superficial topics and avoid deep conversations
People interested in establishing a true friendship will take the time to get to know each other on a deeper level. If your friend is never willing to talk about anything that matters, then they’re probably not invested in the friendship at all.
9. They say negative things behind your back
If you find out that your friends are saying negative things behind your back, it’s time to let go and stop investing in this toxic friendship. People who talk negatively about their friends behind their backs are not virtuous or kind, so it’s best to move on and invest your time in meeting people who will appreciate you.
10. They don’t ask about you or care to know more about your day
If this is the case, then it’s time to move on and find a friend who wants to get to know you better instead of just using you for their gain. These people are never going to be good friends if they only want to talk when they need something.
Conclusion
Does your friend show any of these signs? Does any of the above describe your friend? If the answer is YES, it might be time to reevaluate the friendship and either stick with this person or cut ties completely. It’s better to invest your time and energy in becoming more self-aware and surrounding yourself with more supportive people who will be there for you when it counts.
Good friends are the ones who value you. So what do the signs of a fake friend mean? If you spot any of these signs of a fake friend, then it might be time to distance yourself from this individual and seek out a better source of friendship, such as someone who will take the time to get to know you and appreciate your unique qualities.
Based on what you’ve read here, how do you think others perceive you as a friend?
How would YOU rate YOURSELF as a friend? Why?
If you can’t answer these questions to your satisfaction, then it’s time to take the time and work on yourself and your relationships with other people.