Our whole life is spent chasing fairer sex. We like the way they look, the way they smell, the way they move their bodies, but we still haven’t figured them out. Most men lack the basic awareness of what to talk about with a girl and end up stumbling and stuttering through their words, trying to figure it out.
Women can be intimidating to talk to because men often put them on a pedestal for their beauty and end up questioning if they are good enough for them or not. Once we get past this weak mentality, we realize they are the same as us, they have the same fears and uncertainties about life.
We are all human and we all want the same things in life, to be happy and healthy and to feel safe and secure in who we are. Try some of these topics when talking to women.
Goals
When talking to a woman, it’s important to show her your value. By talking about your goals and dreams, it will convey that you have ambition and that it’s worth her time to invest in you. It’s good to talk about your dreams and the goals you have set for yourself with everyone, not just women. No one wants to hang around with a loser that is going nowhere in life.
In return, she will open up to you and tell you about her dreams and goals, and you will start to build a connection. Talking about your goals is also good not only to impress women, but it’s good to remind yourself about the goals you have set in life. Once you tell people where you are going and what you are going to achieve, it puts pressure on you to go out and achieve what you want in life.
Banter
When talking with women, it’s good to be quick with your words and to be able to engage in witty banter. It shows you are confident and funny, everyone wants to be around someone who is funny. When you can make women laugh, you bring joy to their lives and you give them a reason to come back and talk to you more.
Listen to stand-up comedians, or watch funny shows with good banter — such as “Seinfeld” and “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” — or any show that makes you laugh and has quick-witted humor. Watching programs like this will improve your banter game; you can even use exact lines from the shows for a laugh.
Banter is something that improves with time, and everyone has a different style of banter with each of their different friends. Practicing banter with a woman and seeing what makes her smile and laugh and learning the lines that work and that don’t work is a great way to become more comfortable talking to women.
Gossip
One thing women love to engage in — whether they admit it or not — is gossip. Women are very perceptive of their surroundings and are very good at picking up non-verbal cues. Women always want to know what people are doing: who is dating who, who likes who, who said what about someone else.
Men are much more simplistic in their conversations with one other; sometimes male friends will hang out and not say a word to each other for 15 minutes. Women crave attention and gossip is an easy topic for them to get carried away with. As long as you can always put a new spin on what you’re saying the conversation doesn’t get stale.
Hobbies
Talk about your hobbies to make yourself seem more interesting. If you’re out on the weekend shooting hoops, or in the gym, or playing in a band, tell women this. If they show interest in what you’re telling them, then go into more detail and tell them stories about the things that happen while doing your hobbies.
You will appear manly, confident, and someone who leads an interesting life. And you shouldn’t be making up hobbies to seem more interesting; you should actually be out there engaging in fun activities. This can be an opening to invite them along. Even if you don’t believe they are interested in doing your hobbies with you.
If they show interest it’s a good chance to ask them for their number under the pretense of doing those hobbies (even if you don’t plan on bringing them along next time you jam with your friends or whatever it is). Once you have their number on your phone, you can start talking to them even more and go from there.
Sex
As much as men might think that it’s rude to talk about sex with women, women are sexual beings as much as we are, and they enjoy talking about it. Don’t go up to a woman and open with: “What’s your favorite position?”, that would be creepy. But once you build comfort and attraction with one another, the subject will come up at some point.
You can also make jokes about sexual things to gauge their level of comfort. If a woman makes a comment about a body part of yours she likes, invite her to come to have a squeeze. Once a woman touches you and reciprocates that she enjoys it, you can start lightly touching her back and build up attraction. If she is comfortable with you touching her, it shows that she has an interest in you as a potential mate.
Family
Talking about your family and your family values is a perfect way to connect with a woman, especially if you have a great relationship with your family. If you talk about your parents, she will see that you have a family-oriented mind, and women inherently are interested in men who they believe will make a great addition to their family.
She will start telling you about her family and telling you her values and family morals. Women have to be careful with the men they allow in their lives because they are fertile and through evolutionary means, they are seeking someone they believe will be a great provider and a dominant father figure to their children.
Even if they aren’t interested in pursuing sexual relations, talking about your family with a woman will show her your softer side by demonstrating responsibility.
TV Shows
This one may seem obvious, but women are as complex as men believe they are. A woman will almost certainly have a favorite TV show she enjoys quoting, and it may be similar or the same as yours. Women aren’t all about “Sex in the City”; there are plenty of shows that you will find common ground on.
Movies
Talk about your favorite movies. Women have a lot more variety in the type of movies they like than you might suspect. Plenty of women enjoys horror movies and action films. Horror movies make great dates: they always want a man around when they’re scared.
Fashion
Ask a woman how she feels about your fashion. She will give you compliments and honest feedback that will improve your game with other women. Most of the time, you don’t even have to ask. If a woman says she likes a certain shirt you wear, take note. If she likes it, then other women will probably like it as well.
Style
Compliment her on her hairstyle if she wears it a certain way you like. Women like a man that tells them how to fix themselves up. It won’t be long before you will have women texting you, asking you how they should wear their hair and what type of clothes they should wear to your date.
Dating History
Women may not be comfortable talking about their past partners, but it’s important to at least ask a woman about her dating history to get a read on her to figure out if she is lying or telling the truth. Some women won’t reveal the true number of partners they’ve been with, and some men become bitter towards women because of this.
But many will tell you the truth and reveal their dating history if they want to proceed further with you. Not all women are liars, and to think so is an undesirable trait to have. If they are honest in other areas of life, then there’s a good chance they will be honest when talking about their dating history.
Once they reveal this information, it shows they trust you. You can also learn a lot about a woman from her dating resume, and figure out if she’s worth investing more time in.
Work/Career
Sometimes it’s easiest to keep it simple: talk about work. Ask her what she does, what her past jobs were, and what she aspires to do for a living. In return, tell her about your job; the responsibilities you have, your everyday routine, the people you work with. It may be boring, and it might be something you don’t constantly want to talk about but some people love what they do for a living and are delighted to talk about it.
Tell Her a Joke
This one works well even on a girl you’re afraid of approaching. Think of a funny joke that’s on your mind or something hilarious that happened to you in the past; something you know will make you laugh. When she sees you laughing, she might ask: “What’s so funny?” If she doesn’t ask and she catches your eye while you’re laughing, say: “I just thought of the funniest thing.” to which she will probably be interested.
Tell her the joke or story and put a smile on her face. Make sure it is not offensive, and even if she doesn’t laugh, play it off like you have a different type of humor. She’ll probably fake a laugh, even if she doesn’t find it funny.
Music
This is very simple; asked her what type of music she likes. She could have a completely different taste than you, or she could have a very similar taste to you. If you have a similar taste in music, try asking her if she wants to go to a concert with you sometime, or get together for a drink and listen to whatever genre of music it is.
Music is the background to our lives; so many significant moments are relieved when we hear a song because it invokes a certain memory. Try to find agreeable music you can both talk about and make memories together with a new soundtrack playing in the background.
Books
Finding out what type of books a woman reads (if she reads) is a great indicator of her intelligence level and will give you something to connect on if she is into the same stuff as you. If you’re a reader, tell her the books you’ve read and tell her what you’ve learned from them. Intelligence impresses women BIG TIME.
Education
Similar to career, this topic will come up at some point. Hopefully, you have some sort of intellectual background that can impress. Even if you don’t, if you like watching educational videos on YouTube and reading books to better yourself, tell her all that stuff. Women are attracted to men who are focused on self-improvement.
Food
Another very easy topic for men to talk about with women. Food brings people together; everyone needs to eat and everyone has a favorite food they like. Depending on what her ethnicity is, she might like food you’ve never even heard of. If she tells you about a certain dish she makes or enjoys ordering, and you’ve never had it, tell her you’ve never tried it and she might offer to make some for you or want you to go out with her to try it somewhere.
Food is a great thing to bond over and women like cooking and feeding a man; it’s in their nature to take care of the men they like. If you reciprocate and share food with them, then you will start a bond without even realizing it. It could become a regular thing.
Her Morning Routine
This one may seem boring, but most women spend a lot of time making themselves up in the morning to look their best. Ask her what she does to look the way she does and after she explains her routine, give her a compliment. You are complimenting her work and letting her know her efforts aren’t in vain. She will probably start taking even longer to get ready in the morning after you tell her you to like the way she does herself up.
Her Shower Routine
Again, this one might seem like a stretch — something men can’t really relate to — but most women that take care of themselves have a set routine of creams and products they use every time they shower to look the way they do. They take a lot more pride in their appearance and they want to be validated for the work they put in.
Let her know her efforts are worth the time without being overly complimentary. Say something simple like: “It seems to be working.”
Culture
If a girl you are interested in is from a different culture, ask her about it. She will probably be more than happy to share some of her cultures with you and tell you stories about her different traditions. And this doesn’t go just for women; asking people about their cultural background is a great way to build friendships.
Be open-minded and respectful of their ways, and offer them things from your culture. Soon you will be trying new food, listening to new music, and watching different programs. You may even discover something new that you really like that you would’ve otherwise never tried.
Pets
Ask a girl if she has any pets. If she does, she will most likely want to talk about them and show you pictures. If you have pets yourself, you can show them pictures. Whether it’s a cat or a dog, girls will mostly find your pet cute and this could be a great way to build a date. “You like my kitty cat? You should come to see her in person sometime.” Pets are great with women, so if you have them, show them off.
Travel
Be a worldly man and tell her about the places you want to travel to and the thing you want to see. Ask her where she wants to travel in the future. Who knows, it could be the set-up of a beautiful vacation together.
Gym
If she has a nice shapely physique, there’s a good chance she goes to the gym. Ask her if she works out. If she doesn’t, she’ll be flattered, and if she does this could be an opportunity to invite her to come to work out with you sometime.
How are they?
This is the simplest way to connect with someone; ask them how they are. How they are feeling if they are dealing with any stressors from life, and if there is anything you can help with or give them advice about. In life we pass people and say, “Hey, how are you?”, and the response is almost universally; “Good.”
Don’t ask in that sense, ask how they truly are. If you see a woman you know or like, and you can tell she is upset about something, ask her what’s upsetting her. People want to talk about themselves. They want to unload their problems on people and not keep everything bottled up. It’s a great way to build chemistry if a girl tells you about a particular problem she’s having and you have the solution.
She will view you as smart and valuable. Even if you don’t have the answer to their problem, it is still nice for them to know they have someone they can talk about their problems with. It’s not unmanly to show concern and care about a woman and the problems she’s dealing with.
A lot of men would argue that you’re stamping or she’s just using you as a shoulder to cry on, but a real man takes care of the people that are around him. I would argue that it’s much more manly to show a woman you care about her; men are protectors by nature. If you can show that you can make her happy when she is down, and you are actively trying to protect her from the nastiness that the world throws at her, she will take notice and she will care about you back.
This is when you will start to build a genuine connection and she will turn to you as her protector when she needs you. Humans usually only engage in relationships with other humans — be it, men or women — if they are getting something out of the relationship. Use your brain and your words to show her your value as a protector — as someone who is there for her — and she will come back to you.
Love
This is best used on a date. Ask her if she believes in love. This will lead to an interesting conversation and will give you a lot of material to work with. Ask her: “Do you believe in love at first sight?” If she says no and she’s looking at you, you could ask, “What about love at current sight?”
You can also take this conversation in a much more serious manner and tell her how you feel about love and what type of love stories left an impact on your life. When she sees your willingness to talk about love, she’ll open up to you and trust you. You separate yourself from many men when you tackle a topic like this, something most men avoid.
Conclusion
Sometimes men overthink what they need to say to women; they think they need to have the perfect first line. Or they think they need to act a certain way. Whatever your hobbies, goals, and interests are in life, there is likely someone out there that has similar interests to you that you can connect with.
But you’ll never know unless you ask. And the first step is to man up and start the conversation. Who knows, maybe it will go nowhere, but maybe it will lead to an amazing relationship.
If you have any questions, feel free to ask. Don’t overthink it; women are essentially the same as us. We all want to have fun, have friends and enjoy life.