Taking A Relationship Slow: Here’s How You Do It

Are you rushing into your relationship headfirst? How about skipping certain steps? Keep reading to learn everything you need to know about how to take it slow in a relationship.

If you want to build a sustainable, healthy, and enduring relationship with your partner, then you need to consider taking things slowly with your partner. To be honest, there’s no greater chance of success in any relationship than if both partners take their time to get to know each other.

The slower we go in a relationship, the more we can take our time making decisions that are right for us as individuals and suitable for the future of our relationship. So yes—if you want your relationship to work out long-term—you need to go slow.

What Does Taking It Slow In A Relationship Mean?

The key difference between taking things slow and taking things easy is this; taking it easy means you’re putting in less effort because you don’t care or want anything serious.

But taking it slow means you actually do care and want something serious — “slow” just means that no one is rushing into anything, including making plans or seeing the other person too frequently. When you know what that thing is, maybe it won’t be so hard to figure out if it’s worth sticking around for.

15 Ways To Take A Relationship Slow

If you want to encourage your relationship to thrive and work out rather than burst into flames before it begins, here are 15 ways to take things slow.

1. Be direct from the start

Be upfront from the beginning. If you’re looking for a serious relationship and the other person isn’t that’s not something you can change and that person shouldn’t be pressured into doing so.

Couple talking on the sofa.

Let them know your intentions, and make sure they feel comfortable with whatever you’re looking for. It may seem scary to have this conversation at first, but it will save you a lot of time in the long run as both people know what they can expect from one another.

2. Avoid discussing the future

When it comes to the future of your relationship, be cognizant of how much time you spend thinking about it. This can be hard because you may want to know where your relationship is headed, but business in the present moment is more important than any plan for the future.

You don’t have to have everything figured out right away, and neither do they. If you feel pressure from friends or family asking about your future plans as a couple, avoid discussing them as much as possible and focus on what’s happening now instead. Remember that no one knows which direction is right for you and your relationship except for you and her/him.

3. Control your emotions

Perhaps an essential part of slowing down is to be aware of your emotions. The more knowledgeable you are, the less likely you are to make impulsive decisions from an emotional place.

Sometimes we get so caught up in that whirlwind of feelings that we don’t realize what we’re doing until it’s too late. This is where those damaging behaviors come in; getting too attached too quickly, flying off the handle when our partner doesn’t understand how we feel about something, and a host of other actions that can damage a relationship if they aren’t handled correctly.

When you stop to really acknowledge and check your emotions as they’re happening, you’ll have time and space to keep them in check and process them healthily before letting them dictate your choices.

4. Don’t be exclusive quickly

One of the best ways to safeguard your heart is to refrain from labels. When you first start dating someone, it’s only natural that you want to share every part of yourself with them. However, certain parts of your personal life and relationship simply don’t need a label right away.

Yes, you may be seeing each other exclusively, but there is no need for either person to define the relationship as “exclusive” if the other person isn’t ready for it yet.

While this might seem a bit scary at first, it doesn’t have to be a bad thing! Taking things slow and avoiding any pressure or expectations regarding commitment levels early on in a relationship will allow you to get to know your partner more thoroughly before deciding where you want things to go.

Plus, choosing not to put a label on something means that both parties are free to do what is best for them without having any obligations toward anyone else.

5. Build emotional and mental intimacy

Make your priority emotional and mental intimacy. When you go slowly, it’s important to build a strong platform for that slow-paced relationship to stand on. You should build the foundation of this relationship on trust, honesty, and communication. This means really getting to know the other person—their hopes and dreams, their fears and insecurities, their values and principles—and sharing yourself with them as well.

Couple dreaming about their future life.

Talk about everything from your fears and insecurities to your hopes for the future. You may have talked about some of these things before if you’ve been going out for a while or dating casually for a bit longer than that. Taking it slow means taking the time to get to know each other at a deeper level than you would if you were rushing into things physically.

6. Wait until you feel comfortable

How to take it slow in a relationship? Take your time to get to know someone and make sure you are compatible. This is an essential part of a relationship. You both need to be on the same page about what you want from the relationship.

When people rush into relationships, they often ignore or overlook signs that their partner may not be a good fit for them. They also don’t have enough time to really get to know each other properly before taking things further.

If you want your relationship to last it’s best if both of you start off as friends first and see if there are any potential romantic feelings between you. If there aren’t any feelings after spending some time together, then maybe it wasn’t meant to be anyway.

7. Take time to get to know each other

It’s easy to get swept up in the idea of a new relationship and forget that you don’t really know this person yet. Similarly, they might be easily swept away by their feelings for you and try to rush things. The best thing you can do is set clear expectations with your partner right at the beginning. Make sure they understand you want to take things slowly.

Taking your time means being able to make informed decisions about what you want and what kind of partner you need. Think about whether or not your partner has qualities that are truly important to you as an individual and decide if they’re someone who will make your life better in the long run.

This can be difficult when powerful emotions are involved, but it’s worth taking some time before making any big commitments or decisions about moving forward in a relationship.

8. Try something new together

This new shared activity can be anything that is low-pressure. Maybe you both have been wanting to try a new restaurant but are too nervous by yourselves. Maybe it’s a documentary on Netflix that neither of you has seen or an obscure band that you want to listen to together. It doesn’t matter what it is, as long as it’s something new and fresh and exciting for the two of you.

Scuba diving couple.

Remember, this shouldn’t be something that either of you would feel self-conscious doing in front of the other (unless your partner is also self-conscious about doing it). So don’t think about going skydiving—at least not yet!

That might be too much for someone who just got out of a relationship and isn’t ready to jump into another. Instead, think about choosing activities that are on the less ’’intense” end of the spectrum, like grabbing coffee at a local cafe or taking some hiking trails outside town.

When in doubt, ask yourself; “Would I feel comfortable if my ex wanted to do this?” If your answer isn’t an immediate yes, then steer clear!

9. Don’t let the relationship take over your life

Now that you’re in a relationship, it can be easy to fall into the habit of spending all of your time with them. Instead, keep doing what you did before you were together; go to the gym, meet up with friends for dinner, or go on your weekly shopping trip.

Don’t let this person take over your social life. Then they could become your only outlet, and you will invest too much in that one relationship. It’s important to still make an effort to hang out with your friends and meet new people, even if you’re in a relationship.

10. Focus on more than them in your life

Not focusing on the relationship 100% of the time is important. The most important thing you can do is keep up your hobbies and interests outside of the relationship. If you are a musician, keep going to band practice or go see a show instead of staying in with your partner all the time.

If you are an athlete, continue to play in your pick-up basketball games or take more yoga classes with friends instead of leaving it behind because you want to spend every minute with your partner. This will allow for some space between the two of you and give each other something to talk about when you get together again.

11.  Assess the direction

Before you get into a relationship be sure to know what it is that you want out of the relationship and how you will measure its progress. For example, if you are looking for long-term dating or even marriage, be sure both of you know this so that you can set appropriate boundaries and determine whether or not either partner feels like they are ready for such things.

Keep in mind that having a plan in mind does not mean that your partner has to follow the plan word-for-word; it’s just good to have an idea of where you want your relationship to go.

It’s also important to identify the signs that show whether your relationship is going in a good direction or a bad one. Some red flags include talking about marriage on the first date and bringing up exes early on in your time together; these are both crying signs that someone isn’t ready for a serious commitment!

12. Don’t rush in introducing them to your loved ones

Finally, wait to introduce your partner to the important people in your life. Your family and friends shouldn’t meet them until a relationship is becoming more serious. The same advice applies if you initially meet online.

Couple meeting families and friends.

It’s okay to talk about your family and even share a few photos, but don’t make it seem like you’re already planning for the future by introducing your new partner to everyone. This will just scare them away!

13. Don’t be too clingy

You don’t have to talk to each other 24/7 for things to be real. Go at your own pace and talk to one another in your free time. This will build the anticipation and also avoid any feelings of suffocation or clinginess in the relationship. Clingyness isn’t an attractive trait, after all.

Let things happen naturally and let the relationship take its natural course rather than trying to force something that is not meant to be. If this person seems like they might be interested in dating you long-term, then go for it! But if they seem like they want to keep things casual or just hang out as friends, then let them lead the way; don’t push for more than what they’re willing to give right now

14. Keep the mystery alive

In order to take things slow, you have to remember that the purpose of a relationship is to get to know the person. You have time for all of the deeper stuff later. It’s good to share some things like your work schedules, interests, and hobbies.

However, it’s best not to talk about finances right away or reveal everything about your family dynamics at once. Don’t give out access codes or passwords. If you’re going on date number one, you don’t need him knowing your last name, let alone what bank account you use.

You can still be mysterious! Don’t feel like you have to tell them every little detail about yourself right away. The purpose is for them to get to know the real you slowly and over time.

15. Wait before you move in

If you’re not living with your partner because you feel like you have to, or because it seems like the right thing to do, but because you truly want to (and feel ready), that’s a good reason. There are lot of other reasons why people choose not to live together. You might have different attitudes about cleanliness or different priorities regarding money and career goals.

You might not be excited by the prospect of dividing chores or making compromises around things like where you’ll spend significant holidays. So think carefully about what moving in together will mean for both of you and how it might affect your relationship moving forward.

Young couple cooking breakfast together.

It’s also important to consider whether this is ultimately something that will make you happy and how your partner feels about it. If there isn’t any apparent reason why waiting would be detrimental for either of you, then sit tight.

Also, if getting married is on the table at some point in the future, it might be better for both of you to wait until after marriage so that there’s no confusion in terms of property rights should things go belly-up someday down the road.

Is Taking Things Slow In A Relationship Good?

Taking things slow is not only okay, but it’s a necessary step to building a solid foundation for your relationship. It’s about getting to know each other on a deeper level and ensuring your significant other is the right one for you.

Patience is the highest form of commitment and love that you can provide someone. Frankly, it’s the easiest thing to rush things and go through the course of a relationship without getting to know them first. However, when you take things slow, you ensure that what you have is real. It also allows you both to observe your compatibility and chemistry together.


No matter how smitten you are with someone and how much you want to put a label on your relationship, don’t move things too quickly. Love can be blinding if you’re not careful, and going slow allows you both to go at your own pace while getting to know one another.

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About Jerome Glover

Hi! My name is Jerome and I am a writer/editor for GentlemenCenter. I have a passion for helping men improve themselves, and I hope my writing will be able to help you in anything you may need!